*It keeps me going*

Hey everyone! I am back here with blogging ! hahaha. I know I havent update.. again because I kinda switch loyalty to tumblr?? But think again, tumblr tooooooooo public. Here is more private so here I go. 

Let see? How is life? Well, same old same old. Nothing much change. I am still the same Mylia. Yeahh. pretty much life is kinda boring. Nothing really excites me that much. Okay, but projects do keep me busy. Plus this CRC bonding thing. WHICH TURNS OUT that only seniors are coming -.- LIKE SERIOUSLY! I had it up to HERE with the juniors. Why cant they be supportive like us seniors? Why cant they be committed? I mean we came from the same position as them. From nothing, I turn out to be one of the Exco for the club which until now still surprise me. but Anyhoooo, 

I went to the class bonding thing. Which is a surprise. Honestly, from the start when they suggest another bonding thing. I am not as excited as last time. Usually, I am pretty much so into all this thing that get us together. But seeing the class condition is like now, I lost hope for my class. Pretty much a long time ago. yeah, but it was fun. I did a bad thing on that day. My bad habits start to pick up. I was literally shaking when I ask Farhanah just one stick of ciggies. Cause I really need it badly. But she pitied me and see how much i shake. WHOA! I havent quit. But trying to. But when I get emotionally destroyed, I only look for this solution. CIGGIE! Bad habit, yeah. I trying to find alternatives. 

So yeahh, hmmmm, project stress me out like hell but the thing that get me so happy about is. YANG YOSEOB!!!!! Ever since I watch Yoseob sang this song "Mother" on Immortal Song 2, I fell in love with him. Not for his cuteness or his silliness but his voice. You should see how freaking good he is when he sang that song! OMG, gooosebumps all over. DANG! And Im hooked to him. They came to Singapore not long ago. But, I didnt manage to see them =/ I wanted to see  yoseob real badly ! Because I havent see him once. I want get star struck like how I did when I first saw Lee Jaejin. I want fall in love ! GOSH

K BYE

*like I said, nothing last forever, I guess*

Hey Hey, I am back to blogging. Yeah, I am feeling rather bored so here I am blogging. I hope I can go through this post without stopping halfway. That is what I will do once I got tired.But hey! maybe not this time? Haha. Anyway, why I am back here updating about my life?? Well one of the reason is I got nothing better to do. And I was waiting for Naruto to load. So yeah, here I am. Amazing huh??

 

Any updates about me? Neh, I been the same old same old person. Still in this miserable darkness that I think I would never come out of. Geez, no wonder my friends said that I need to get a life. Because I think I do. Because not even one single day, my thought isnt about him. It kind of hard to get rid of him in my memory. Because so much had happened. Haix, but he belong to her. Someone that I trust. Guess, that gives me a lesson of not trusting anyone too much. I am being too nice sometimes. Oh well, but everytime I see him, I still got that heartbeat. That blood rushing everytime I see his face. I tried to ignore my surroundings. Tried to get away from the surrounding even. But however how long can I avoid? I already receive ITE love letter to me. Sheeesh. 3 module that is below 85%! Shitty! Skipping class is not an option anymore. But I should have quit earlier because everyday I am losing interest in it. In my course that is. And I should work when I got the chance to. But no, this stubborn head of mine say, go to school. It lead you to a better future. -.- AS IF!! I am suffering everyday in school. 

Thank god for the Tourism Innovation competition(which we didnt win) got me distracted and AWAY from that class. It make me feel like myself again. And surprisingly being at TP actually make me feel like going there you know. It was a FUN experience even though it is stressful but I had an awesome time! Hehe^^ Oh, the food there is AWESOME!! Excellent. I ate like nobody business. :D 

Deejay friend do give me distractions and all. I love them to the bits because they are like family to me. They are always there when I need them. They are there when I am scared. They are there when nobody in world ever listen. I thank them for existing in my life. Maybe this is what I get. After that incident, I got closer to them.Farhanah, Straven, Fiyah,Fiqah,Hasan,Danial,Imran and Adali. Thank you :D  Love yall. You guys are like brothers and sisters to me. Kamsahamnida. 

Things at home are not going so well either. I mean a few months I will not be staying in this hometown. I will be moving and I hate every single thought of it. My parents said I am the ONLY one who is not supporting. I am the ONLY one who dont understand. But listen to this, maybe I dont want to understand. I grew up here. I was raised here. I watch myself fall and rise here. How can I just go out when everything that is so dear to me go away? Everything has been taken away from me! The guy that I love so much and this house. The memories and my grandmother. and friends. How many more things god want take away from me? The universe is playing games with me but I dont want to play anymore. I am tired. Every single thing come one by one. How much longer can this body take?? Plus not to mention I lost the most valuable thing in my life. How many more?? 

They say good things come to those who wait. Well, I been waiting but nothing good has come out of it. Maybe I am being selfish nut whatever, I am tired of all this. I feel so empty right now. Really I do. Almost everything that I love is taken away from me. Thank god for my family(who are too busy for me) and my deejay family are still here. If they are taken away, I dont know if I can be strong. I been putting up a masquerade lately. I am not being myself. You may see me smiling but deep inside I am broken. Haix. whatever. 

*I am back, kinda.*

Hello people, I am back here blogging. Yeah, as usual kinda busy with school and life yada yada yada.. Anw, recently my superheroes went to Singapore Zoo on the what may i forget. HAHA. anyway I had an awesome time with these lovelies. :D 

First was off to a bad start because we was late. When I mean 'we' I mean me,mummy,danial,hasan and straven was late. 3 hours late. Suppose to meet at 9 but we arrive 3 hours late. Do the calculations. Yeah, once I stepped into the zoo, my main aim was to find the rest which is Fiyah, Fiyah's sister , Fiqah and Imran. But things got caught up. The rest are too fascinated with the animals. However I really want to find them because we came here to hang out together but end up getting split. Which I dont like. So, I wasnt really interested in any photo taking or looking at the animals. I keep begging them asking to find the rest. Eventually we bumped into each other at the snake part. And there it all start. They were mad of course. If I were them I would understand. Then we went to walk to some part of the animals and the quarrellings start. I was quiet all the way. Guilt rush into me. Imran notice I was so quiet at first and then the rest start asking me. I only manage to open up to oppa since he wants to know. After I told him how I feel, Fiyah and Danial start to raise their voice. I wanted to cry, but I held back. At one point I just cannot take it anymore, I just walk out of there on my own. Danial and Hasan followed me until we got into this shelter where the Ah Meng statue is. SO yeah, tears felt out. Hasan and Danial console me. Because all I kept thinking was I am going to lose them. I want to talk but I cant. I being choked by tears. 

"This is it Mylia, This is where the good things ends. You are never going to have this much fun again. Good for you"

That is the voice insinde my head is saying. And I cried even more. Imran, mummy and Straven came. And then followed by Fiqah. Then I just sit there silently while tears fell down my face. Haix. But a few moments later, Fiyah came to me and we made up. She explained why and we go back on track. I sigh with relief. Thank goodness. 

We took lotsa picture and videos. Hilarious ones of course. Its all in Facebook :D

After a long exhausting walk, we went to vivo city to meet Adali who did not come because he got work. And just chill. A =n hour later we went back home.

A weird feeling came to me these few days. I dont know what. Maybe because I am scared to have this feeling back. Or is that I am scared of the result. I just dont know. But all I know that it is impossible because we both are from different worlds. It is impossible for me.

I am still thinking of him. Every night. I smile at those sweet memories and cry to those bitter ones. I miss how you call me at night. Now you call her what you use to call me. Haix, all I can say is Please take care of him. Enjoy him. Because I can only watch him from afar. Haix. I just wish that I can be happy with him. Why is it so hard for me forget one guy that put me through this much?? Put me through shits? Yet he is there not caring about your feeling at all but you still care. How stupid can I be? VERY!!!!!

UGHHH!

whatever,bye

*It was fun while it last*

WELCOME BACK MYLIAJANE!!!!!! HAHA! ok, lame! Anw I am back here blogging from a exhausting/fun/memorable study trip to.... HONGKONG!!!! duh ! Anw, I love it to the core! I had so so so much fun with the 25 people that went plus our teacher Ms Ariel Goh and Ms Claris Ng. and of course our tour manager, Hazel!!! Ok, the pictures says it all. I will be uploading picture soon OR you can see it on MyliaJane Rashid facebook friends. HAHA!!  

Ok, let see if I can remember where we go at Hong Kong for the past 4 days.... all I can remember is DISNEYLAND!!!! Which is AWESOME to the MAXI! HAHA!! I love Space Mountain and I got to take photo with Goofy and TINKERBELL!! Awesome! I love Tinkerbell and she said she love my Acorn hat, 

I bought lotsalotsa stuff. HAHA. Lotsa Stitch stuff. HAHA. 6 different kind btw. Yeah, I am crazy. And I love watching Stitch Encounter and also Mickey mouse 4d Magix! Freaking cool!!! If I get to there again, I will I tell ya. Victoria Peak was spectacular and breathtaking!  Got this place that look like Colosseum but forgot what is it call was pretty as well. And too bad I am without camera so I have to wait for my friends to upload their part!! HAHA! That is going to take a long time because we took so many picture. Ms Goh already uploaded her part and my classmates are all caught in camera for sleeping. Like BABI! which means PIG! Lucky I wasnt one of them. :D 

I Miss HONGKONG now, It was a nice short getaway. I bunk in with Mai and mummy. And I tell you, it is really hard for Mai to wake me and Farhanah up because when the alarm rings,  me and Farhanah refuse to close it. Lucky we have Mai. Kamsahamnida chingu. If not, I tell you we will be last one to get down XD

Food there is AWESOME and NICE! We eat like a fine dining style but being MyliaJane, I eat like a barbarian like some of my classmates tell me. -.- which is true. Anw, I find my eating style pretty unique.. NOT! I am embarrass by it! My ex boyfriend said that he will never take me to a fancy restaurant unless U learn how to eat properly. Well, I dont mind.. If I eat properly that will take away my uniqueness. 

All I can say is HONGKONG IS AWESOME!!

Well, FUN is over now back to school life. SHEEEEEESH. Whatever with lots of exclamation marks and the whatever face. HAH! I seriously hate coming to school because I am dragging myself to see the modules which is difficult especially this semester. I been missing class lately because off CCA stuff and all that. But I never complain. Because CCA is the reason why I am not draggin every 8am in the morning for class. And of course my DJ family. (: But other than that nothing... Okay, I am complaining again. -.- 

But still, it is for my own good. I need to get a cert to get me somewhere in this hectic,education-comes-first Singapore. Plus SG is getting HOT! As in weather HOT! As I am typing this, I am bloody sweating! WTF. Cool down please! 

Actually I just want to say, I MISS HONG KONG!

ok bye.

*I miss my fringe*

You know, there is a time I regret cutting bangs but there is a time when I love my fringe to the core. HAHA. Like today I HATE and REGRET cutting it. Its like -.- OMGOMGOMG!! Yeah, I had bad hair days for 2 straight days in a row. CONGRATULATION to me!! WOOOOTS!

Yeah, okay how school been lately? Well, as usual. SUCK and now new word. STRESSISH! Arghh. like seriously! 4 projects. For 4 module. BLOOOODY HELL! STRESSISH! Whatever. Other than that there is conflicts here and there. Haix. Worrisome. Seriously I lazy care but then thinking its my friend than I should. Ok blabla. I on msn now so lazy blog. BYE!

*Well, I think I am healing*

Anyeong!! Its been long since I updated. Like I said no use of me blogging anymore. But I still want to update what is going on with my life.

So yeah, basically the new school term has start for me. Well one word, SUCK! Like my friend said in her blog, it literally SUCK! The timetable SUCK and everything SUCK. Basically, I am dragging myself to be up and go on that stupid train to go to that school. -.- Yeah, I hate school. Go figure!! Other than get to see my new rock dude eye candy ^^ my deejay family has been giving me something to be hyper about. I see them everyday after school. Because we know that all of us had suck a crappy day in school and plus we end LATE! SHITAZ! So yeah, nice one timetable. You give us little time to rest -.-

I isolate myself from the class and it is obvious. Because of the you know what situation. Yeah, I am considered as outsider because I dont interact much with any one of my classmates. Can say I change throughout the holidays? I been more quiet as another of my friend notice that. Usually I be quiet but also talkative but that me is long gone to that class. Situation make me this way. So accept me for who I am now or GET LOST!

And you a certain someone I hope you are happy seeing me like this. So call revenge? Well, yeah. I take whatever you got. Because this is nothing. If I happen to go to hell when I die, I face alot worse. So I put up a strong front and show that I can do it. For a small size girl, i still can face it. I dont mind really, Because thanks to you, I know who my real friends are. :D I am glad you put me into this situation. Even though I may not seem strong but bloooody hell, you are WRONG! :D HAHAHA! Peace brother ^^

So yeah..... DEAL WITH IT!

Yours sincerely,

MyliaJane ^^v