* Can I go back to how I was previously? *

Anyeong, I am here to blog again. I have the mood to blog like suddenly. Currently I am listening to IU - Someday song.

The word 'Someday' really hits me. Maybe someday I be back to how I was back then. The one in the picture. I was so happy back then. I have friends that seem almost inserable. F9. I love these people. Really bring out the best in me. I was really that happy. And I dont care who is surrounding around me. And nothing really worries me. I have good grades and have nice life. But now I see what I am now. I dont think I can go back.

I am now living in a dark hole. I dont see any meaning waking up in the morning. Because I have nothing to look forward. And now I think the world is a living lies. Everybody and everything seem so fake. Fake smiles, fake tears. Fake love. Fake! Nothing is true. How amazing can that be. When you have something that you work so hard for come crumbling down. You work so hard and in the end you found out that you work hard for nothing because it is all lies. Great isnt it? My friends said that " Amy, when she talk she hardly have any expression."

Yeah that is right. I dont know how to express myself anymore. I am sorry. Deejay friends did help me a little. But all you see is fake smile. I never felt truly happy. Because I realise this is a fake and cruel world.

Guys, continue to hurt us. Continue. Even if a guy come to my life, I will see it as fake. Because I am tired of facing all this nonsense shit.

You, thank you for making me realise that all you did was lies. All those 'I Love You" 'I Miss You' and 'I Need You' is all lies. Thank you for making me belief that I should still hold on to you because you said there is hope. Because you are so convincing, I am caught up in your lies. Thank you for all those thing you bought me. Thanks for the time you spend with me. Thanks because you made me once happy.

Didnt realise it was a lie.

How would you feel if someone did that to you? No, I wouldnt want that to happen to you. Because I am stupid enough to see you get hurt. Yes, I am stupid. Until now, I dont ever want to see you hurting. To see you suffer. Because I am stupid enough that I am caring. Even after what you did. Stupid right?

I am sorry for all those people who see the drastic change in me. I see nothing now. Lies is all I see.

Mianhae.