*Just call me Jane*

Surprise?

Yeah I decided to blog today! Awesome?! No? I dont care. Haha. Okay lets see.... Well its finally 2011. I mean a new year for me. A new year for everyone. A lot of things happen in 2010. I hated how last year turn out to be. How I turn out to be. From the girl who dont wish to see her past coming back to life is living her life like her past. Like I said people come and go and people changes. I said that before. But I did not think it will imply on me. I thought I never change. I will usually thought I will still become that Mylia who everyone thought is happy? I thought I can be happy forever.

Like I explain in my previous post. On how things and what happened during 2010. I would not say I regret it because I dont but I do wish it turn out different. Let me show you some picture to get a better view on what happen througout 2010 (:

It started out as this people in the picture. My PABOS! I love them. Until now

Graduation(:

I even got the chance to go to DXO :D

LA was born. The class was united during camp :D

Born the new couple in LA. Hanbali and Amylia

After we broke up. This is how I look like. I lost a lot of weight I realise.

We still hang out. But every good things come to an end

These are the people who always look out for me.

MINDS are born. But we just not the same anymore

ANd this is me now. After all the ciggs/alcohol/drugs. haha.. Yeahh. I was bad.

Well that explain?

I hope 2011 will be a better one. I want all the things to turn out right. Because I really had a hard time last year. Now that is over I am hoping there is a light waiitng for me at the end. I want be happy. I mean this time really feel happy. Not pretending. Up till now I am pretending I am happy. But geez I want stop pretending. I am getting tired of it. I am better now. I put on weight again. Been eating and I dont do what I used to anymore. Imagine I lost alot of things in 2010 alone. I isolate myself from my own family. I refuse to listen to people and my temper is turning worst. Like last time? Yeah. But not as bad. I still remember I thrash my own room when I am angry. I dont want be that person anymore. I want be that hyper-alway happy-crazy-indifferent girl again. I hope so. I seen a lot of life. Maybe last year was a lesson for me and I take it as a lesson. But I always ask myself this

"Why am I in LTO instead of Service Management? Is there some kind of meaning?"

I thought the anwser was him. But I was wrong. It wasnt. Now I have to keep on searching why I ended up in this course and why I ended up in ITE in the first place. I can get to poly but unfortunately my MATHS stinks.  Why? I have too keep on looking. In the meantime? I shall go on dates because nobody is stopping me. I am free. I dont have to feel I am tied down. That is one good thing. But I do miss us. But I want to forget it soon. I wish I can be like Goo Jun Pyo when he lost his memory of the person he want forget most. 

But impossible. He is always in my mind. 

School opening soon and I will sure see him again. Oh well, I have to face him sooner or later. I choose later but I pretty much have no choice. GOSH. 

I beg of you 2011. Please be nice to me