*Maybe I become numb?*

What up people of the century? Okay, I know its been a long time since I last update this blog thingy. But believe me. Life has caught with me until I dont really remember that I have a blog. I know I dont blog as often like last time but I will try to start that habit now.

How am I? Is that the questions that you guys been asking? If there is any readers out there. I been better. That is the answer to the question. Believe me, whenever people start asking,

"Babe, how are you?"

OR

"Mylia, how has it been going?"

OR

"Jane, What's up"

And my answer is.....

"I've been better"

I am still getting use to the fact that the person whom I care about is practically outta my life. But, I am slowly moving on. I have .... distractions now. Kinda. Sort of. But not the kind that I could occupy my mind for the whole day. Yes, I become a worser person as in personality wise but I am trying to make a comeback soon. Its really hard but I have to give it a go. No matter what. That cheerful-crazy-hyper-indifferent girl will be there soon. MyliaJane. A name that describe the old me. But now, I am just plain Amylia.

I am thankful that I have all the girlfriends and my family there with me. They are the ones who doesnt leave even when I am at the worse point. Friends and family, what more could I ask?

The year coming to an end and I still have to come up with a new year resolution. Something that I would keep with me and that what keeps me going for the upcoming year.

Usually I will talk about my 2010 year on 31st December but I feel like doing it now. So brace yourself this is gonna be a loooooong post. If there is any readers out there still.

It started out awesome. I was as happy as ever. I have my PABOS4 with me into the same course however Sam was in LC. Min Hui and Ju is stuck with me in LA. It was sad but we are still close. I thought nothing, NOTHING could seperate us. At least that was what I thought.

Stepped into LA(my class) and I feel that the class needed some unity. There is no bonding at all during the orientation and everyone is in the world of their own. But I'm pretty hapy to see so many TGs in that class. Make a few friends and was still happy.

Then it come to the camp. Everyone was bonded. Even though only a few turn up for the camp. But still we had a blast. I was eyeing on this guy during camp. You will soon find out who is the guy.

Then after camp, I got to know a few friends and we bond and hangout. I am still eyeing at the guy. Surprisingly, he chatted with me on MSN the day after the camp. We exchange numbers and SMS then. He was so cute and was the guy that everyone was talking about.

Since I was just eyeing, I have no feelings what so ever for him. But somehow after getting to know each other I thought he was cool and feelings develop for both of us.

Until one day 050510 he ask me to be his girlfriend. Yes, that person is no other that Mr Popular, Hanbali. I was the happiest girl in the world.

So I thought. Had some shaky parts and eventually call things off. My wold fall apart.

Was recovering until he make that phone call and we talk and things started as friends. Then dating then back together.

Again the happiest girl in the world. To have a boyfriend that every girl envy. A boyfriend that cares and love me for who I am. I was so happy. Didnt notice the family problems and others.

Remember when I said PABOS4 was inseperable? Wrong. I drift away and decided to stick to him. and my other new group of friends. Mistake. Keppel Bay, Town, Fort Canning, Aloha and so many places are our memories. But we had some shaky parts here and there and eventually call things off again but this time for good. Me and him are not even talking now. :(

Had some financial and family disputes at home which makes me even more stress. And comes to a point where all the bad habits kick in again. I lit up the ciggs. Open the bottle. and many other stupid things. So stressed up until all I see is darkness since he left. He was the one who gave me advices and telling me to be a better person. But that is in the past.

Have some friendship problems too when I become a middle person and our clique eventually seperated. Bummer.

But talk things out and everything seems okay. But just not the usual stuff.

I am a good actress. Can fool people by just smiling(:

But now, things are getting brighter because I have DJ peeps that are awesome and sociable. Have MINDS that are the best in the world and I still have my PABOS4 that stick with me even though I drift and change. I love this people to the core and I dont know what I would do without them.

My family especially my sister is there too. Guiding me to the right path. Only a few person know what I am right now. And I am sad to say I hate it. But it is not too late to change for the better. Old habits die hard.

. Yes, I am a terrible girl. But I will change because I learn that nobody is there to help me but myself. He just dont care. So let him be happy since that is what keeps you going. Be strong and be a good person.

I have dont so many sins. But I must repent.

New year resolution : REPENT!