*Invisible*

I cant upload pictures. So whatever.

I did go to school today. Want to know why? Okay first of all my fever come back. Again. And I just cannot bring myself to go to school anymore. I just cant. I mean there is nothing for me to look forward for. I am waking up for school because I want make it through this world. But other than that nothing.

You want to know why until now without fail I will wake you up for school? Want to know why? Well, because just by doing this Im still there. I feel like Im not invisible. I still belong. But what is the point because in school, you never failed to ignore me. You walk through the hallways without noticing I'm there. I guess Im invisible to you.

I dont even think you ever come by here to look at what I am doing anymore right? I guess so. Somebody told me

"Sometimes when something make a big impact on your life and that something start to ignore you, move on with life. There is others. Dont stick to one."

But I didnt listen to their advice. I refuse to. I listen but nothing they said to me ever goes in. I am still stuck. Stuck in the past.

If you are wondering why I didnt look at you or even talk to you in school? Well, because everytime I look at you, I can feel the tears stinging in my eyes. I cannot. Because you seem so happy. And if I talk, I might ruin it for you. I dont want that. SO let me just stay silent. And let me admire you from far. Because I know you are never going to come back. Let me stay this way. It seem you move on. I am stuck. Dont worry, I would never want you to be unhappy.

You seem to be happy. People said,

"Look at him. He is happy. Its time you should to."

Maybe I cant find the happiness yet. Its gone ever since he left. So yeah. Let it be. Let me be like this. Sooner or later I will master it. Master hiding my feeling towards him.

 

But one day I just might breakdown in front of you