* I miss them truckloads*

Hello people!! I am officially 19. OMG that is so old. Well. I love those people who wish me happy birthday.

Well, the people above there plus Desmond and Elizabeth celebrated my 19th birthday on the 2nd of October. I mean even though I rarely hang out with them but they still open me with open arms and I had the best day of my life. I mean I finally became the hyper, care free and the loud girl again. We sang K at Teo Heng and I sang alot of Korean songs with absolutely no restrictions. Li Yen wasnt there for the karoke session. But I had fun. I dance like nobody business(: Hehe. SNSD,B2ST,SHINee,Wonder Girls,2PM and many more. And I sang a few english songs and malay songs which I dedicated obviously for him. They said I was emotional when I am singing the songs. :D

After that we head to Dhoby to walk walk and meet Li Yen before heading to Far East to eat at Nana Thai Restaurant. I swear we were so cute when we calculating the budget for our food. Very cute and accurate. We even collect donations. Haha. Funny right?

Thank you for the day guys. I had lotsa fun. I love the cheesecake. Thank you. Exactly what I wanted. and I miss you guys like hell. Really. We should really hang out more. If Im not too occupied. You guys know that I still think about you guys and wish times were like before where they just us and everyone was so happy? Yeah, but people change. At least I did. I am sorry. But I promise I will be that girl again. It takes time for me to get back up again after being down for so long. Remember I love you guys. I have no idea how much I miss yall especially my PABOS!!! Sam, Ju and Min Hui. The people that started it all.!! I miss yall the most. I mean what you guys wrote in that special card really moved me. I cried. Sam got me crying with her message the most. Everyone of you guys ask me to stay happy and be that girl again. Guys, how I wish its that simple. Im sorry for changing. I will make a comeback soon. And this time for real. (:

And my birthday today was spent with Zee. He asked me out and we went to Tamp to shop shop. He treat me MacDs(: and bought me this Escada-ish perfume. I love the smell and we walk walk and talk talk. I had a great time. He was fussy in choosing game. Thank you Zee for the day. I appreaciate a lot. And I am sorry if I ever pester you on that day. Haha.

I get my birthday wish already from the special person on Earth. We had a long chat on my birthday and he lecture me about life and how to become a better person and in the end he said someting that really touched my heart. I love you too baby. I am sorry for not trusting you. Jumping to conclusions and for becoming a bad person. I try to change. I cannot promise I will change fast but I will make the effort to change. What you said struck me somehow. And those beautiful words that you said are music to my ears and make me heart beat infinity time. I can be immature in my thinking. I can be a mess. I can be irresponsible but despite all that you are still here. Not moving away and still loving me just the way I am. I am blind to not see that in you. I am stupid for not believeing you. And I am a fool to jump to conclusion. A simple gesture from you shows that you do care and that you will always do. I will hold on. Just what you want me to. I will wait. Like I always have. I love you Hanbali bin Noordin.

I will remember and hold on to your words.

"No matter what happens, just remember I still love you baby"

<3

I want find a job. I want get stuff and I need to stand up on my own feet agian. I hate being so useless and having no money to go out and have to depend on my stupid saving which has already depleted. Someone got lobang please help. I am in need of a job badly now. Weekends only. Please and thank you