*I cant even say it*

I know my blog has been depressing but that is how I am feeling now. Depress. Really. I swear I am. But there is noone I can talk to.

If you are reading this but I doubt you do, I am not attracting attention just want to say that you are being missed so much. By me. I dont know how long can I take this in. I mean in school there is no change. No actions. I cannot even tell you that I miss you now. Really. I am scared. I am scared what you think of me. Its really hard for me to control my emotions now. Like today in school I almost burst out in school because the comment you make was somehow implied to me. Even outsiders know. It really sucks to hear it coming out from you. I am sorry for ever being like this. I cannot help it. I hope you understand. Hear me. I almost want to be honest with you just now. But there is no chance. I guess maybe Im too late? 

The second option, move on. But how can I? Memories of you and me keep playing in my mind. Everywhere I go it reminds me of you. Everything remind me of you. You have no idea how hard it is for me now. I am never happy since you left. Never. Sure, I am thankful and all but happy? Its never there within me since you left. You left me wondering. You said promises. You ask me to wait. Here I am doing this for you.  Its really really hard. But I got be strong. Strong yes. Move on? I dont think I can ever do that since you are there. Almost everyday. 

The judgemnent you make yesterday really hurt me. Hurt. Yes, That is it. That is how I am feeling right now. But I got to pretend that I am okay. 

I can never move on.

 I miss you. I miss you so much. It hurts you know? I am sorry. I really hope you understand me.

I cannot forget. Memories of you are really treasured by me.

I cant even say it now. One day, I might just breakdown. I am sorry.